My intention today was to reminisce about the willow trees and apple trees of my childhood. I was going to post photos from the park, it was going to be full of nature.
Then I felt like being cheered up, so check these trees out….
This is a remote part of Cuba from a time when I still had disposable income (yes, Before Child). I didn’t really do beach holidays, then I ended up here and embraced the beach experience.
This is paradise, it’s hot but there’s a cooling sea breeze. Imagine if you will, ‘Helloitsgemma’ covered in factor 60. A sort of patchy white and greasy on pasty white skin in or order not to turn grimacing pink and then a screaming red. Sitting under the shade of a tree further to protect her very pale and sensitive skin. Not completely relaxed due to a slight concern about the possibly of an imagined coconut falling on her head. Surely if someones going to get knocked out it’s going to be the least stylish woman on the beach – her. Head flicks from the tree above and furtively glances around beach and wonders why everyone else is golden brown and perfectly suited to their swim wear.
The clear blue water laps at the bay and occasionally our hero rises heads to the shore dons flippers, clutches snorkel and flick flacks with high knees and much splashing into the sea an action that inexplicably forces her bikini bottom up the crevice of her bum. Quickly removing the offending bit of material and less a glide more a belly flop into the water. Another quick adjustment, this time the bikini top that keeps going off on its own journey in any direction away from its intended coverage, did this ever happen to Ursula Andrews?
A short snorkel before her back turns bright red or, she realises she got far too caught up in the whole ‘Finding Nemo’ experience of the beautiful little fishes and that she’s a bit too far out to sea and way out of her depth. Freaks out a little bit (obviously not wanting to draw attention to herself as that would be uncool and drowning might be more preferable than looking uncool) so flaps madly towards the shore, splashing enough to possibly generate electricity.
Emerging from the water, all high knees, flapping flippers and various bikini adjustments which gives the impression less of a Bond girl and more someone with fleas.
It’s tough in paradise – another mojito? Don’t mind if I do…..