I’ve been rolling this post around like an old bit of blu tac between thumb and forefinger. I have a niggle of doubt I guess.
I was made redundant at the end of June. What I didn’t mention was that I had some ‘issues’ with work, which resulted in ‘discussions’. The result of which was that after being made redundant, I was then ‘offered’ a post subject to ‘stipulations’; the post had to be in the office over 5 days a week, not quite full-time, but more than my previous 4 days.
I am the main bread winner and much rides on my job, including a potential house move to another area and better schools. Better schools.
June was stressful, I saw some people I worked with in a different ‘light’. So July begun with things still slightly in the air. I unwound, I have more time, we did stuff we haven’t done before, like walk to nursery, I know it’s temporary but it’s a pleasure.
I received an email with the ‘offer’ and a timescale to decide. I have a few days of feeling a tightness in my chest and a curling in my stomach. My family depends on me to have a job.
We spend a rare week day as a family, visit a local beauty spot have a little walk feed the ducks and I realise I am smiling, just smiling. Smiling at my son, the things he’s saying, the stuff he does.
I turned down the job, maybe I’m not completely convinced it was the right decision, but it feels like the best decision.
I’ve been job searching and there isn’t much part time work, this morning I read; “More than 380,000 jobs have been created since the end of the recession, although nearly all of them are part-time” The Guardian, 28th July 2011. Yesterday, I searched a local website, it throws up 651 jobs, then I click ‘part time’; “sorry, your search has not resulted in any matching jobs”.
I feel I’m walking a fine balance between income and what lifestyle that potentially buys and taking a huge risk for a quality of life that’s about now, about the small stuff, about having time, without that time with my son I would be miserable.
I suspect this is a dilemma I may have to return to again in the coming months. My son is not a child that skips into
But for the time being five days is not for me and it is not for my family.
I wonder how this post will stand over the coming months.
Have I made the right decision?