Rising house prices have resulted in more young people moving back home than ever before in the hope that by not spending their entire wage on bills and rent each month, they will have some chance of saving up enough for a deposit on their first home.
However, more often than not, it is a couple not an individual moving back in with one set of parents. Although this is positive for their bank balance, there can be many negatives that come with it.
In reality it probably isn’t something either of you really want – for the young couple it is a loss of personal space and independence, as they put all their own furniture into storage and move back to their childhood bedroom. For the parents, who had finally got their home to themselves after 18-plus years of raising their children, they are back to sharing the space – and their child’s partner too.
So, how do you survive moving back home with your parents?
Talk through expectations
You aren’t staying with friends, you are moving in with parents and there is no way to get away from that child/parent dynamic. You are also under your parent’s roof and therefore it is only fair that they will expect you to live by their rules.
So, before you move back in, all sit down together and talk thorough expectations – then you are both on the same page and there won’t be any unwelcome surprises a few weeks in.
A few key things you might want to discuss are:
- Money – when and how much are you expected to pay while you are living there?
- Chores – how can you help while you are there? Perhaps you will cook meals certain nights of the week, or draw up a cleaning rota?
- Habits – do your parents get up/go to bed at a particular time? Discuss basic living habits, so routines don’t have to be broken and everyone is aware of them.
- Schedules – let your parents know when you will be in and out of the house for work, etc. so they have a rough idea of when to expect you there.
Both you and your partner and your parents need personal space, so while talking through expectations make sure you discuss boundaries. This will help to ensure you and your parents get along for the duration of the time you are there.
See yourself as a guest
Of course you don’t want to move back home and be treated like a child again – you have lived on your own and looked after yourself, after all. However, it is also easy to fall back into the behaviours you had when you were living there in your youth – such as lazing around in front of the TV while you let your mum cook your dinner, wash your clothes and clean up after you.
This isn’t fair on anyone, so ensure you don’t get too comfortable by seeing yourself as a guest in your parents’ home rather than seeing it as moving back to the family home.
Move in with a plan to move out
The most important thing to do when you move back in is to have a plan to move out. The best way to do this is by having specific dates and goals you are aiming for.
You and your partner need to discuss money – work out how you are going to save, budget and do your research. Start looking at where you might like to live, so you have something to aim for.
Most importantly, remember it is not forever and at the end of it all you and your partner will have your very own home!